Becoming my own best friend

(Some of the material mentioned here I talk about in my interview on "The Psyche Whisperer".)

After over a month of not posting, I am back to talk about some things I have been working on for the last 6 weeks.

As in life over the last 6 weeks allot has transpired, and allot has changed. When recovering from anything in life changes come quick and sudden. I must say that all the changes made in my life have been really positive. Six months ago I set out on a personal journey of self discovery. What I am finding is absolutely amazing and wonderful. There are things I have accomplished that I never though I would in life.

One thing I have been working on is becoming my own best friend. Albeit this has been very tough, as I have been my own worst enemy for so long. In order to achieve this goal I had to make some rather "non-routine" things into routine behaviors. Step one was to stop "beating myself up" so much. There is no need for us to put so much guilt and negativity on ourselves for things that we may or may not have done. The reality is, guilt can be ok, in moderation and if it is appropriate. Borderlines will know that guilt is a constant! Instead of feeling bad about everything thing, I feel it, take in that moment, and get past it in a healthy manner. This means not running from my feelings, or people in order to avoid these emotions. Rather, I am taking them head on and learning what is an appropriate amount of any emotion behind any situation.

This in turn has decreased my instances of beating myself up, thus making feel better and have less anxiety in other situations. For example: If I were to feel guilty about not being able to perform a task due to a restriction I have physically, financially, or emotionally. Normally I would become very depressed, my self worth would diminish and I would then allow everything that day to effect me in a negative manner. Instead I come to an understanding of why I can not do this task, feel what emotion may come from it, and learn to cope with it by finding an alternative to my inability. For this inability does not make me any less of a person. It is what it is, and is simply nothing more.

One of the keys to achieving my goals is to take "Baby Steps" and always be realistic in my expectations. Putting too much pressure on yourself to change or feel different can be too much at times. If you take it a moment at a time, and put the fires out as they pop, you will find it gets easier with time. Patience is KEY when dealing with ANY illness. As our wounds will not heal over night, but will take weeks, months and maybe years to heal from. We must gain strength from knowing that we can heal, in time.

Step 1: Patience
Step 2: Stop beating yourself up
Step 3: Baby Steps

Cities take time to build, and wounds take time to heal.