Well, where do I begin? Or should I even?
As fast as the tide comes in, so does my mood swings. Today being the worst day out of a week.
1.) My back pain is crippling me. (Thanks for switching my meds DOC!)
2.) Dealing with a tragedy
3.) People fussing over me, and I can't stand it.
The weekend is filled with high points, low points, and anything in between.
A "Friend" turned on me for the 4th time, I am not surprised. It is my fault for letting them in to begin with. Can't stand being alone, yet I can stand being with someone. Too much pressure.
Another friend says I broke their heart, by simply rejecting any sort of romance they may desire from me. If I have learned anything, turning a friendship into a relationship, will ruin it, forever. Unless your lucky enough for that person to be understanding.
Onto another "friend" never being a friend to begin with. I bite my tongue when it comes to words of hatred and defamation. Lets just say, their VOW of marriage meant less to them than the desire to be with me. I feel a have made it pretty clear, I do not desire any sort of relationship with anyone. Yet they pursue, take what they can from me... Then milk their husband for whatever they can. WTF?
As each day goes by I realize I am surrounded by lost and tortured souls trying to find their numbness in any form or fashion. Some people like to be a slave to another person. It gives them self worth. Others like to use, lie, manipulate, and turn the tide in their favor when things do not go their way? (Did I just describe a characteristic of BPD?)
None the less, I sit here... In wait of... Who knows. A moments peace so I can for a walk and release the negative energy that's festering in my already burning nauseous stomach.
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