Well, the avg day is generally spent going through the motions that anyone would go through on the avg day. Introduce triggers of unknown and known origin, imagined situations, anxiety, fear, and nausea.
There is not an option for me to LAY DOWN and take a break. I can break down, but even that is limited to moments. Sometimes hours, more times minutes. I am moody allot, certain sounds, touch, or stimuli can make me become very agitated, and "riveted". While at other times those same things have no effect on me at all.
There are times that any time I react or feel an emotion I feel guilty for it. Either my actions (which are never out of line), or my own thoughts and feelings. Kind of beating myself up for having them has become a ritual in dark times. Add to that any situation when someone who knows this about you, uses it against you, your self worth cease to exist.
The truth of it all is that WE are our own worst enemy. Well, I am MY own worst enemy.
The reality in which I feel is my responsibility... But how do you control a freight train, with no brakes, with just your bare hands?
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